On the first day, I realised I hadn’t come to a conflict resolution course at all, but a “conflict transformation” course.  Now that might seem like semantics, but there is the wor(l)d of difference.

In many circles (perhaps especially business), there is discussion around “managing conflict”.  The idea is to effectively minimise conflict, contain it, and eventually sweep it away, preferably without having to face it.  Conflict Resolution is a second understanding of  reducing conflict within organisations.  The danger here, is that there is somehow the prospect that all conflict can be resolved, some unanimity found, a common agreement.  But that is not always the case, and potentially can lead to the suppression of conflict within an organisation.  What we were being offered was “conflict transformation” … a way of transforming the conflict from a potential danger to potential opportunity, and in the process transforming the individuals involved and their relationship.  Resolution may never be achieved, but transformation can be, and even if resolution is achieved, transformation takes it deeper.

And the course was certainly transformational .  At the beginning we were invited to draw an image that depicted conflict for us.  Most of us, myself included, drew something with negative connotations.  By the end of the week, we were all invited again to draw an image, and I certainly felt much more positive towards the idea of conflict, realising that I have some skills to engage with conflict constructively, that it is a normal part of being human and engaging with other humans, and it doesn’t have to be destructive, but can be constructive.

Of course, conflict can escalate quickly, and can be devastating.  I have some experience of this.  But conflict suppression is no antidote for bad handling of conflict.  Churches are experts at both, but we should be world leaders at transforming conflict.  We have the model and the teaching of Jesus, and the work of the Spirit today, that can bring us to healthy engagement with conflict.

One of our values at a church community is “celebrating diversity”.  We certainly have some diversity, and resist attempts at conformity.  But I am not sure we have learnt to celebrate that diversity – a culture within our community that encourages difference, learns from others perspectives that are different from ours, embraces others, and engages constructively with conflict. 

I need to learn to draw out the voices of people who see things differently, who disagree with me or the prevailing wisdom, who have alternative perspectives to share.  This will enrich us, and help us to discern together God’s presence and leading, and respect & engage everyone within our community.

And this was just from session 1!  More reflections to follow.

If you had to draw an image of conflict what would that be?  Do you thing conflict could ever be constructive?